Letters of Hurt
by Rltsweetie22591
Summary: Finn and Rachel have broken up! Set in season 2    Finn finds a notebook which puts a lot of things into perspective for him...
1. Chapter 1

_Set after the Rachel and Finn break up in Season 2. I don't own ANYTHING! Enjoy and please leave reviews and I will carry it on!_

Dear Finn,

I miss you!

I know it's uncalled for, but it is the truth.

I made some stupid mistakes and I know I hurt you and that I don't deserve you, but you are constantly on my mind. Since we broke up I haven't slept much at night and maybe it's due to this that I've been falling asleep in classes and the library.

My days I spend listening to love songs or reading romance novels.

My dads are worried but obviously I won't tell them anything, because it's not their problem.

Finn, baby! I'm sorry.

I miss you!

Rachel

xXx

I found this notebook yesterday. It was pink and fluffy and originally I had just looked in it to see who it belonged toss that I could give it back, but then something caught my attention. There were papers in the book that had my name on them. There were three sheets of paper, so I did what any other teenage boy would do and I looked.

I recognised the handwriting straight away. It was my Rachel's. No, she wasn't mine. Not anymore. She hurt me. Although as I read the letter above I couldn't help but smile at certain things that she said.

Baby, she only called me that when she was feeling super lovey dovey. I missed her. I was kidding myself. I hadn't thought about how stupid I was being. I needed her back. I missed having Rachel with me. I wanted to support her in her career, spend every day with her, have a family with her. I just wanted her in general.

I decided to open the second letter.

Dear Finn,

I miss you!

I don't know why I am writing you these letters as I know I will never give them to you personally. However, I am hoping that by doing this it may help me eventually move on, although this is not what I desire. I love you and I always will. You are my one and only.

Glee is becoming too hard and I apologise as I am not even in the mood for singing anymore. My dream was always Broadway and the West End, but now this life seems dull without you in it. I need you in my life.

I miss you!

Rachael

xXx

I felt the tears prickling at my eyes. She didn't want to move on. She wanted me too. I needed to find her and speak to her. She was willing to give up her dreams for me. Although I would obviously never let her do that.

I stalked through the corridors trying to find the love of my life. My Rachel. I ran into Mike so stopped to speak to him to see if he had seen her. He said that he saw someone that looked like her but wasn't sure whether it was definitely her heading into the choir room.

Why hadn't I checked there? Made sense. At this moment I remembered there ws another letter. I took it out and unfolded it.

Dear Finn,

I hope one day you will forgive me. I was stupid and naive. I think I am more mature now and have realised my mistakes.

Finn I am sorry for this. I need you more than you realise.

Truly sorry,

Rachel

xXx

I read the letter. I was worried. There was no 'I miss you' or anything like that and no more perky and happy Rachel. Glee was the next class I was going to and I hoped I would see her as I missed her and wanted to talk to her and hopefullyshe would give me the second chance that she shouldn't really give me. Or was it a third chance? Anyway.

Walking into Glee, I noticed Rachel straight away and hated what I saw. Although she looked beautiful as always, she looked sad and almost depressed. She was no longer dressed in cute animal cardigans and short skirt but baggy long shirts and jeans that hid her away and almost blended her into the crowd, but she was Rachel and she would never just blend in to me. She would always be my star that would shine.

Mr Schue came in and told us he wanted us to sing a song about how we felt. Rachel stood up for the first time since we broke up and said she would sing. I had missed her voice. I couldn't wait to hear her wonderful voice and finally get to know how she felt but nothing could prepare me for what came next.

You warned me that you were gonna leave  
>I never thought you would really go<br>I was blind but baby now I see  
>Broke your heart but now I know<br>That I was being such a fool  
>And I didn't deserve you<p>

I don't wanna fall asleep  
>Cause I don't know if I'll get up<br>And I don't wanna cause a scene  
>But I'm dyin' without your love<br>I'm beggin' to hear your voice  
>Tell me you love me too<br>Cause I'd rather just be alone  
>If I know that I can't have you<p>

Lookin' at the letter you that you left  
>[The letter that you left, will I ever get you back]<br>Wondering if I'll ever get you back  
>[ooh aahh, ooh ahh]<br>Dreaming about when I'll see you next  
>[When will I see you next, will I ever get you back]<br>Knowing that I never will forget  
>[I won't forget, I won't forget]<br>That I was being such a fool  
>And I still don't deserve you<p>

I don't wanna fall asleep  
>Cause I don't know if I'll get up<br>And I don't wanna cause a scene  
>Cause I'm dyin' without your love (yeah!)<br>I'm beggin' to hear your voice  
>Tell me you love me too<br>Cause I'd rather just be alone  
>If I know that I can't have you<p>

So tell me what we're fighting for  
>Cause you know that truth means so much more<br>Cause you would if you could, don't lie  
>Cause I'd give everything that I've got left<br>To show you I mean what I have said  
>I know I was such a fool<br>But I can't live without you

Don't wanna fall asleep  
>Don't know if I'll get up<br>I don't wanna cause a scene  
>But I'm dyin' without your love<br>I'm beggin' to hear your voice  
>Tell me you love me too<br>Cause I'd rather just be alone  
>If I know that I can't have you<br>Yeah!

Don't wanna fall asleep (Don't wanna fall asleep)  
>Cause I don't know if I'll get up (Who knows if I'd get up)<br>And I don't wanna cause a scene  
>'Cause I'm dyin' without your love (Yeah!)<br>I'm beggin' to hear your voice (Let me hear your voice)  
>Tell me you love me too (Tell me you love me too)<br>Cause I'd rather just be alone  
>If I know that I can't have you<p>

I couldn't help it. She finished her song and there were tears running down my face as she finished.I stood up from the bench and walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could without squashing her. I bent my mouth down to her ear and whispered "I love you" just so she could hear it.

"Rachel, that was stunning," Mr Schue said.

There was a round of praise from all our Glee members, even Santana and I couldn't of been prouder of my girl. My girl? Was she still my girl or ever going to be my girl again? I had to make sure of it.


	2. Chapter 2

_I do not own Glee nor do I own the music... I wish I owned Glee however and if I did ther next episode would be this week and not NOVEMBER!_

Everyone sat back down after Rachel's performance. She looked a bit shaken and as if she was about to burst into tears at any moment. Now was my chance to let her really know. "Mr Schue! Can I go next? I have the perfect song?"

"How much you betting this is Finchel drama?" Santana muttered but I just ignored her as I had to get this out with as much feeling as possible

_You're insecure  
>Don't know what for<br>You're turning heads when you walk through the door  
>Don't need make up<br>To cover up  
>Being the way that you are is enough<em>

_Everyone else in the room can see it  
>Everyone else but you<em>

_Baby you light up my world like nobody else  
>The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed<br>But you when smile at the ground it aint hard to tell  
>You don't know<br>You don't know you're beautiful_

_If only you saw what I can see  
>You'll understand why I want you so desperately<br>Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe  
>You don't know<br>You don't know you're beautiful  
>Oh oh<br>But that's what makes you beautiful_

_So c-come on  
>You got it wrong<br>To prove I'm right I put it in a song  
>I don't why<br>You're being shy  
>And turn away when I look into your eyes<em>

_Everyone else in the room can see it  
>Everyone else but you<em>

_Baby you light up my world like nobody else  
>The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed<br>But you when smile at the ground it aint hard to tell  
>You don't know<br>You don't know you're beautiful_

_If only you saw what I can see  
>You'll understand why I want you so desperately<br>Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe  
>You don't know<br>You don't know you're beautiful  
>Oh oh<br>But that's what makes you beautiful_

_Nana Nana Nana Nana  
>Nana Nana Nana Nana<br>Nana Nana Nana Nana_

_Baby you light up my world like nobody else  
>The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed<br>But you when smile at the ground it aint hard to tell  
>You don't know<br>You don't know you're beautiful_

_Baby you light up my world like nobody else  
>The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed<br>But you when smile at the ground it aint hard to tell  
>You don't know<br>You don't know you're beautiful_

_If only you saw what I can see  
>You'll understand why I want you so desperately<br>Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe  
>You don't know<br>You don't know you're beautiful  
>Oh oh<br>You don't know you're beautiful  
>Oh oh<br>But that's what makes you beautiful_

As I finished Rachel looked up at me and gave me a semi smile so I walked over to her as everyone praised me and sat next to her and intertwined our fingers. I lifted her hand to my mouth and then kissed it gently. She looked at me and smiled brightly for the first time in ages.

Glee finished and Rachel and I walked out together, our hands still linked. I was ecstatic. I had my girl back. "We have to talk, Rach," I said as I took her through the corridor to the auditorium. Last time I had been here with her I had left some pillows and stuff lying about so I grabbed them and layer them out on the floor before we sat.

"Finn, I'm sorry," Rachel started.

"Look, Rachel, you really don't need to apologise. It's my fault. I over reacted and lost the best thing I ever had. I love you so much. By the way, the new look is, erm, different," I said.

Rachel looked down at the floor and tried to avoid my gaze. This worried me.

I looked through my bag and pulled out Rachel's diary and passed it to her. "I found it in the hall," I explained and she blushed.

"You didn't read it did you?" she asked and I just nodded my head.

She turned away from me at that point, but I noticed she was rubbing her arm. "Babe, are you okay?" I asked without even realising the term of endearment slipping out of my mouth. She nodded her head unconvincingly and I gently lifted her arm and rolled up her sleeve.

I almost cried with what I saw. My beautiful girl. She had bruises and cuts all over her arms. I knew that she had been upset when we broke up but not that bad. The realisation that I had caused her so much pain made the tears flow down my face and I pulled her into my chest and hugged her tightly.

"Look, Finn. I know it was stupid, but I lost everything. You are the single most important thing in my life and I lost you and my friends at the same time. I was the lowest I could possibly be and to make it even worse I got told there is no way I can go to the universities that I want to so any dream that I have ever had was dashed and... And... I thought nobody wanted me," she said before breaking down completely.

I held her tighter and started stroking her hair to calm her down. It also was trying to calm me down too. I was a mess. I had caused this much pain to the single, most important person in my life.

"Rachel, I told you. No, I promised you forever and I will make that happen, if you still want it to. I love you with my whole heart and I can help you through this. If you are willing to let me," I said rocking her backwards and forwards, "I will not letting everything happen to you again and that is a promise."


	3. Chapter 3

_I do not own Glee or anything associated with Glee, except for my Glee, Are you prepared to be Slushied hoody was I designed it but I do not own any rights... If I did then we would not have a Gleeless month!_

I sat with Rachel for hours inn the auditorium not really saying anything to her as just being close was enough for us at that moment. We both knew we would have to talk eventually but this was everything we both needed. The fact that I had her in my arms made me forget everything else in the world apart from my Rachel. I loved her and would always love her.

"Rach, I know that I'm happy sitting here but I'm sure your dads will be worried about you. I would be happy sitting here forever if I'm honest," I said to her rubbing her back soothingly.

She looked up at me and semi smiled. "Finn, my dads aren't at home. They are on vacation," she said with tears in the corner of her eyes, "do you reckon your mom would mind you staying with me for a couple of nights. We can tell her we will be in different rooms if that will help but I just can't be alone. I can't cope alone..." she started before the tears started falling from her eyes.

I nodded my head and stood up, helping her to her feet as I did. "Come on. I'll text my mom and say we are coming home for dinner and then we will go to yours and I will look after you. And when you are ready to talk, I will listen," I said holding her round the waist, her head leaning against my chest. She was so petite and fragile.

***

"Rachel dear, it's been too long since you have been here," my mom cooed as she fussed over Rach. I was glad that my family were so welcoming to her after all this time. She would always be the daughter that my mom never had which I suppose was good as it would just be awkward if they didn't like each other.

"Finn, Rachel was saying she's at home alone and I think you should go an stay with her providing that you stay in separate rooms and you come round here for dinner as often as you want," my mom said. It was amazing. That saved any awkward conversations.

Dinner wasn't too bad. It was just general conversation and then Rachel and I went upstairs and packed my things for the next couple of nights. I was stoked for this to be happening. I just hoped Rachel would feel up to talking about things. These things included us.

I drove us over to her house and she unlocked the door. I noticed as we walked in that Rachel almost shivered so I wrapped my free arm around her shoulder as we walked inside.

"Rachel, we need to talk, but tonight is about you. So please sit down and we can don something for you tonight and maybe talk tomorrow since it's Saturday and we have the day off," I said before walking into the living room with her. I sat her down on the sofa and wrapped a blanket around her as I ran to her room and grabbed her Funny Girl DVD off the shelf. I put it into the DVD player and wrapped myself around her.

I was going to give her tonight to get used to me. Tomorrow we would talk. No, tomorrow she would talk and I would listen.

_So, there we go! Another chapter down. Next one will be an explanation and it will get interesting._


	4. Chapter 4

_I do not own Glee! I want to own Glee or help write for Glee so if Ryan Murphy ever reads this give me an email and I will come work for you. _

That night Rachel and I fell asleep on the sofa. She was cuddled up in my arms and I couldn't of been happier. She really was perfection in human form. We woke up early, both achy because of the way we'd been laid but neither of us were really complaining.

Rachel went into the shower first and I took this time to make her breakfast. My mom had taught me this amazing recipe for vegan pancakes so I made them and cut some fruit so that she would have something to eat. I didn't know whether or not she would be hungry but I could attempt to get her to eat.

"Finn! You did all this for me?" she asked as she walked in the room, her hair wet and face clear of makeup. She had never looked more beautiful. I was so lucky to be in her company.

She walked up to me and I hugged her tight before ushering her into the seat. She too one mouthful and the noises that were coming out of her mouth were so hot. I had to remember though that we were just friends and that I had to be there for her. No matter how difficult that it was going to be. I excused myself from the room before things got too difficult.

I ran upstairs to get showered and got dressed quickly as I didn't want to spend too much time away from her. I was going to enjoy this weekend of just hanging out with Rachel and hopefully her opening up. If being here was what she needed I was going to be the best shoulder there for her.

Later that day I took Rachel shopping. We just went out for a little bit but I decided that I was going to take her out for lunch. I knew how much she loved Breadstix, so I took her there.

"So, Rach where about are your Dads on vacation?" I asked her looking up from our food. She avoided my eye and I saw her start to shake. "Rach! Are you okay?" I was worried and as soon as the words left my mouth she ran out of the restaurant.

I paid the bill and drove to her house as quickly as I could. The door was unlocked so I went inside. I ran up to her room and found a bundle under the covers. "Rachel," I said soothingly. There were some sniffles from under the covers so I pulled the covers back and the image before made me cry in fear and pain.

My girl was laid in front of me curled in a ball with blood on her wrists and sheets. The deep red against her pale skin and white sheets was so strikingly defined that it shocked me and I was used to blood, just not blood from my baby girl. I bundled her into my arms and wrapped a cloth that was on her bed around her wrist to stop the flow of blood. She was still awake and I had to make sure she stayed that way. My mind was in 1000 pieces and I wasn't quite sure what to do so I emptied my heart. "Baby, please, Baby stay with me. Rachel, you are not allowed to leave me now. I just got you back in my life and you cannot leave me now. I need you to talk to me and explain what's going on in that gorgeous brain of yours. Please? I love you so much Rachel. You are my life. I made a big mistake breaking up with you and the last few weeks have been hell. I need you in my life baby. Don't you dare leave me," I begged between sobs. My girl was in mental and physical pain and there was nothing I could do about it but listen. So that's what I was going to do.

"Finn, I'm so so so sorry. I don't mean to hurt you but it's the only way I can deal with this… this pain. Please don't cry. You don't need me. I'm just a pain in the neck who is too high maintenance. You can cope without me as can everyone else. Everything just went downhill and I can't cope. This," she said pointing to her wrists, "This stops the pain and erases it from my brain."

"Baby, I'm sorry I caused you so much pain. I really didn't mean to but you can talk to me. I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere…" I started before she cut me off.

"Finn! Will you shut up! Everything is not about you! Yes, you hurt me! Yes, I was devastated when we broke up, but I had to get over that and quickly because of what happened," she said storming out of the room.

I was confused so I followed her quickly but she slammed the bathroom door in my face. "Please, Rachel! Please?" I begged, the tears falling from my eyes.

Nothing was said for what felt like an eternity. In fact, it was only about ten minutes but it felt longer before the bathroom door opened and a tearful Rachel threw herself into my arms.

"Finn, I am sorry. I need you here. Please don't leave," she sobbed.

I tilted her head up and kissed her nose. "I wouldn't go anywhere even if you wanted me to. You are my girl and you always will be but you need to open up to me. I am willing to listen," I said pleading with her.

"It's… its very difficult Finn. The thought of it makes me sick. I couldn't tell you before but I couldn't bear to be alone. I'm technically an adult now so there's nothing to be done…" she started rambling.

I kissed her gently, letting her know she was rambling and she stopped and got her breath back. "Finn, it's my Daddy's. They aren't on vacation. They… They… They died in a car crash a few weeks ago," she said before breaking down completely in my arms.

_DUN DUN DUN! You weren't expecting that, were you?_


	5. Chapter 5

_I do not own Glee! Was very upset by the lackage of Glee this week but at least Mathew Morrison was on Sky1 to fill up that void last night… This story is turning M rated, just to be safe, but maybe will become more intense later on…_

I was in shock. Had Rachel just said what I thought she had? I hugged her tighter, holding her in my arms and scattering kisses all over her.

"Rach, I am so so so sorry. Are you okay? You could of come and spoken to me…" I started before she cut me off angrily.

"How could I of? You broke up with me? YOU broke up with ME?" she shouted angrily, tears streaming from her eyes.

The image of her in front of me brought the tears back into my own eyes and I couldn't stop them from falling this time. "Rach, I was hurt. I still love you. I never stopped and you know that. You mean everything in the world to me and the fact you have been through so much and by yourself kills me inside. I'm glad you are letting me in again now. I was so worried about you," I rambled. Everything that was spewing from my mouth was true and I needed her to know it. "You know that my mom thinks of you like a daughter and Burt the same, so you can come stay with us whenever, if anything's wrong or even if you just want a cuddle from someone other than me. Baby, you are my life and you always will be."

Rachel started to cry harder. "I don't want your pity or your parent's pity. I have to deal with this and move on. It's hard but I can do it. I', an adult so I can live here and my Daddy's paid of the mortgage so I am fine to live here. The funeral I can deal with later, but I just need you know Finn. I may take you up on that offer for hugs and to go see your parents because I will have to let them know. But Finn, you cannot leave me. Not now because if you do then I will literally have no one," she said between sobs.

I held her body and lifted her up in the sobbing mess that she was and carried her through to her bedroom. I gently laid her down on the bed and laid the covers over the top of her. "Baby, I am not going anywhere, but I need you to promise me one thing. That you will stop hurting yourself because seeing you lying there with blood leaving your body like that, it killed me inside," I said laying down beside her and kissing the back of her neck.

She gently nodded her head and slowly she drifted to sleep, cuddled against my body. She was my angle and always would be and I had to protect her from everything. Including herself.

Rachel slept well through the night but I was agitated. Every time I started to drift off the image of Rachel surrounded in blood entered my head.

When she woke up she dragged me out of bed and through to the bathroom. She turned the shower on and I looked at her with a quizzical look. "Nothing sexual, I just want you to hold me," she said and I nodded. This was a big moment because I had never seen her fully naked before and I had to make sure my body reacted the right way and that I didn't scare her off.

Slowly, she peeled my clothes from my body and gently kissed each section of skin that had been exposed until I was left in my boxers. I followed her motions and stripped her of her clothes until she was left in her underwear. I swallowed hard and whispered "You really are very beautiful Rach," before she took off the rest of her clothes and stepped under the stream of water. Again, I followed her and did the same and went under the water too. Nothing happened during the shower, I mean I got a bit excited and had to start thinking of the mailman incident but apart from that we just bathed each other and enjoyed being together.

We must have spent about half an hour in the shower before we got out and I took the time to dry Rachel. It wasn't anything rushed but just enjoying being with each other and me making sure that I was there for her if she needed.

Once we were both dry and fed Rachel came over to me as I was sat on the sofa and sat on my lap. "Finn, can we go to your parent's house today. I think I would like to speak to your mom," she said with a genuine smile on her face. I nodded and lifted her up and carried her out to the car before placing her in and driving to my place.

"Finn, I don't know how you feel about this and I know we are both young, but I'm not sure how well I can cope being at home. So, I was kind of wondering if maybe you would move in with me, you know, so I'm not alone and I would have you there all the time. Of course, we will have to ask your mom but I mean, I would really like that," she said with a little smile.

I reached across and I grabbed her hand and nodded my head. "Rach, I would love that so much. If I can do anything to be with you and prove to you how much you mean to me, I am there," I said smiling.

"Finn! Rachel! What a nice surprise! How are you both?" my mom asked as we walked into the house.

I smiled at her and gave her a hug. "Mom, is Burt here? We need to talk to you both, and before you ask, don't worry, Rachel isn't pregnant," I said with a little smile aimed at Rachel. I knew my mom's mind and I knew that would be the first thing that would jump into her head after that incident with Quinn.

We all sat in the living room and I held onto Rachel's hand. "Mom, Burt, you know how I am staying at Rachel's' at the moment. Well, there is a reason for this. Babe, you can explain from here if you want," I said and then whispered to her, "and don't worry about getting upset."

"Well, I don't really like thinking about it," she started with tears forming in the corner of her eyes, "but you two deserve to know. A few weeks ago, my Dad's passed away. They were part of a car accident. It was horrible. A member of the police came round and told me and I just didn't know what to do. It's been a little while but Finn noticed something was wrong and he is the only person who knows. So, this means the house is mine as well as the money and everything." I was so proud of her, she hadn't burst into tears yet.

My mom stood up and opened her arms fro Rachel who quickly got up and ran into them. "Honey, don't you worry about a thing we can help with funeral arrangements and you can stay here until you are ready to go back or you want some space," my mom said. I knew there was a reason I loved her.

Rachel nodded in her embrace and I stood up and hugged them both. My two favourite girls. "Rachel, don't you worry about a thing," Burt said as he got up and joined in with our group hug.

"Thank you so much," Rachel said smiling up at my parents, "I have one question though. I don't know how you'd feel about this but I was thinking when I am ready to go back home, would it be okay if Finn came and lived with me? You know I have never been alone before and he has been so amazing to me and I really do love him more than anything in the world."

"If Finn was going to be with anyone or live with anyone, I would be glad that it was you Rachel. You are such a good influence on him, plus you are only like two streets away so we could still cook you two dinners and such," my mom said, "although, one problem with this would be the other son. Have you told him about it?"

Rachel shook her head. "I will eventually but I want to tell Glee all together which will probably be tomorrow."

I was so proud of my girl. My girl is what she was again. I was so happy and more in love than ever. I just had to help her get through this.

_So, how was that? I feel really sorry for Rachel in my story. Got a bit of Glee going on in the background while I'm writing. Now I should probably go and do some university work. _


	6. Chapter 6

_Two chapters in one day! Wow I am spoiling you guys… can you tell I'm on a day off? Anyway, I still don't own Glee, but I would quite like to write for it, so I think they should do a version of the Glee Project designed specifically for writers. _

Monday morning arrived too quickly and we were back to school. I just wanted to curl up with Rachel and watch some movies or something but as normal she insisted we went into school. She was back to her normal quirky self and I was glad that I had helped my girl out and that she was feeling comfortable enough to be herself once more.

School went by in normal fashion except I got to hold Rachel's hand as we walked through the corridors. I knew it was something little but it was enough to make me enjoy being at school.

Glee club was right after school so we rushed there after last class and we were the first ones there. "Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked and she nodded her head looking down at our hands interlinked. I lifted her head and looked into her eyes. "I know this isn't the best time, but I just want to make it official again, will you go out with me?" She smiled at me and nodded her head.

"Oh look, Finchel are back together again," Mercedes said as they walked in and saw our hands interlinked. There was a chorus of awes before Rachel and I stood up.

"Mr Schue, there's something I want to sing and then explain to Glee club, is that okay?" Rachel asked letting go of my hand. I sat back down as Mr Schue nodded.

Would you know my name  
>If I saw you in heaven?<br>Would it be the same  
>If I saw you in heaven?<p>

I must be strong  
>And carry on,<br>'Cause I know I don't belong  
>Here in heaven.<p>

Would you hold my hand  
>If I saw you in heaven?<br>Would you help me stand  
>If I saw you in heaven?<p>

I'll find my way  
>Through night and day,<br>'Cause I know I just can't stay  
>Here in heaven.<p>

Time can bring you down,  
>Time can bend your knees.<br>Time can break your heart,  
>Have you begging please, begging please.<p>

Beyond the door,  
>There's peace I'm sure,<br>And I know there'll be no more  
>Tears in heaven.<p>

Would you know my name  
>If I saw you in heaven?<br>Would it be the same  
>If I saw you in heaven?<p>

I must be strong  
>And carry on,<br>'Cause I know I don't belong  
>Here in heaven.<p>

I was so proud of her. About half way through she started crying and I ran up to her and wrapped my arms around her waist for support and she carried on.

"Rachel, are you okay?" Mr Schue asked obviously concerned.

"Well actually, I'm not. You are like my family and I need to tell you this. I hadn't told anyone until Saturday because I was too upset and well I'll just spit it out. A few weeks ago my Dad's past away in a car accident and erm, yeah. So I'm living at Finn's for now with Kurt, his mom and dad, but that's only for a little while until I can cope with living at home," she stated.

Everyone just stared at her and then all at once everyone kind of ran up to her and wrapped her in a big group hug. It was at this moment that I noticed how much of a family that we really were.

"Rachel, you are so brave," Tina said as the group disembarked from the hug.

"Rachel, you are welcome to come over whenever you want, even if just to talk," Quinn said giving her another hug.

She really had the best friends in the world. Even if normally they didn't act like it.

"I think a group number is in order now," I said winking at Rach as I started the music.

Sometime in our lives we all have pain  
>We all have sorrow<br>But if we are wise we know that there's  
>Always tomorrow<p>

Lean on me when you're not strong and  
>I'll be your friend<br>I'll help you carry on  
>For it won't be long till I'm gonna need<br>Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride if I have things  
>You need to borrow<br>For no one can fill those of your needs  
>that you won't let show<p>

Just call on me brother when you need a hand  
>We all need somebody to lean on<br>I just might have a problem that you'd understand  
>We all need somebody to lean on<p>

Lean on me when you're not strong  
>And I'll be your friend<br>I'll help you carry on  
>For it won't be long till 'm gonna need<br>Somebody to lean on

Just call on me brother when you need a hand  
>We all need somebody to lean on<br>I just might have a problem that you'd understand  
>We all need somebody to lean on<p>

If there is a load you have to bear  
>That you can't carry<br>I'm right up the road, I'll share your load  
>if you just call me<p>

Just call me when you need a friend  
>Just call me when you need a friend... <p>

We all joined together to hug Rachel one last time before we got down to business. We had to prepare for Regionals.

_Another__chapter__done__and__dusted.__I__love__all__you__followers__out__there.__This__is__for__you__guys!_


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay guys, I am so sorry this took so long but I have a lot of University work going on at the moment. Aside from this I just want to take a minute to *Fangirlsquee* I'm sure by now you have all seen the spoilers of Finn and Rachel and inside my heart is dancing.**

**That is all! Enjoy the chapter guys!**

It was the day I had dreaded for since Rachel told me the truth. Her and my mom had been planning the funeral since we told them and everything was perfect.

It had been a pretty easy process as Rachel's Dads had pretty much chosen everything already in case of this happening. It was just a bit too much to think about at times.

Rachel and I were just dressed and I felt awesome being suited and booted but I just wished it had been for a different occasion. Rachel looked really pretty in a little black dress with tights and boots on. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her. "It'll be okay," I whispered in her ear as I kissed her head gently and held her tightly.

Glee club was performing at the service and I was worried whether Rach would be okay but she said she would be fine and that she needed to do it.

We went downstairs and met my parents and Kurt and Blaine and drove to where the service was taking place. It was quite a small chapel just outside of Lima and it looked so beautiful. There were flowers everywhere and I could see Rachel and I getting married here in a few years time. That would be a conversation for a different day however.

There were lots of people there and as the coffins got carried down I grabbed Rachel's hand and squeezed before we started singing.

**Mama ****take ****this ****badge ****from ****me****  
><strong>**I ****can't ****use ****it ****anymore****  
><strong>**It's ****getting ****dark ****too ****dark ****to ****see****  
><strong>**Feels ****like ****I'm ****knockin' ****on ****heaven's ****door**

**Knock-knock-knockin' ****on ****heaven's ****door****  
><strong>**Knock-knock-knockin' ****on ****heaven's ****door****  
><strong>**Knock-knock-knockin' ****on ****heaven's ****door****  
><strong>**Knock-knock-knockin' ****on ****heaven's ****door**

**Mama ****put ****my ****guns ****in ****the ****ground****  
><strong>**I ****can't ****shoot ****them ****anymore****  
><strong>**That ****cold ****black ****cloud ****is ****comin' ****down****  
><strong>**Feels ****like ****I'm ****knockin' ****on ****heaven's ****door**

**Knock-knock-knockin' ****on ****heaven's ****door****  
><strong>**Knock-knock-knockin' ****on ****heaven's ****door****  
><strong>**Knock-knock-knockin' ****on ****heaven's ****door****  
><strong>**Knock-knock-knockin' ****on ****heaven's ****door**

**"You ****just ****better ****start ****sniffin' ****your ****own****  
><strong>**rank ****subjugation ****jack ****'cause ****it's ****just ****you****  
><strong>**against ****your ****tattered ****libido, ****the ****bank ****and****  
><strong>**the ****mortician, ****forever ****man ****and ****it ****wouldn't****  
><strong>**be ****luck ****if ****you ****could ****get ****out ****of ****life ****alive"****  
><strong>**Knock-knock-knockin' ****on ****heaven's ****door**

I had never been prouder of Rachel. She definitely held her own and didn't cry. She was a true performer and on one of the most special performances of her life she was not going to let anyone down. I sat next to Rachel the whole way through the ceremony and held her hand as she watched her fathers be put to rest. I really felt for her and there was no way I was going to let her go through something like this by herself.

Mystery Point of View

**I ****couldn****'****t ****believe ****that ****bitch! ****What ****a ****cheek ****she ****had! ****I ****couldn****'****t ****believe ****her. ****I ****was ****driving ****along ****the ****road, ****probably ****faster ****than ****I ****should ****be ****at ****that ****precise ****moment ****but ****I ****didn****'****t ****care. ****I ****was ****furious.**

**I ****rounded ****the ****corner ****and ****slammed ****on ****the ****breaks. ****Everything ****was ****a ****blur. ****The ****road ****was ****wet ****and ****my ****windscreen****wipers ****weren****'****t ****working ****properly. ****And ****then ****there ****was ****a ****bang. ****It ****didn****'****t ****sound ****too ****bad ****but ****the ****mood ****that ****I ****was ****in, ****I ****was ****going ****to ****get ****my ****way.**

**Still furious, I got out of the car and stormed up to the other car. I looked in the window banging on it as hard as I could. When I looked in I noticed blood. And lots of it. And that's when I saw Rachel's Dads. **

**Shit!**

**At this moment the rain started even heavier and that's when I saw the fuel dripping from the car. At this point I ran away and got back into my car and did the only thing that I could think of doing. **

**I ****drove ****away ****from ****the ****scene ****and ****maybe ****five ****miles ****down ****the ****road ****was ****when ****I ****heard ****an ****explosion. ****I ****knew ****they ****would ****be ****fine. ****They ****had ****to ****be ****fine.**

The same images and thoughts had been running through my head for the past two weeks. I was plagued with guilt but there was nothing I could have done. Was there? I ran! Some would say that this made me a coward but I did what was best for me.

Although, this was before I realised that they had died. I thought they had only been hurt. Now, after reading it in the newspaper and thinking about the fact that I had orphaned Rachel made me die inside.

She did this to me though. She deserved it. Well, not really but still. I was confused and worried and it was wet. But…

I was a bad person. A bad, bad person. What was I going to do?

**So,****who****do****you****think****the****mystery****point****of****view****is?**


	8. Chapter 8

_Hey guys, got a few points to come across first. _

_ONE: this is a Finchel story, if you don't like Finchel do NOT read!_

_TWO: I'm really sorry for the fact that some of my text is running together when I try to edit it, it is not running together on the computer screen so I'm not sure how to sort it _

_AND THREE: I am back to Finn's point of view. Hope you all enjoy!_

I woke up early the next day. Rach had quite an unsettled night sleep as you could probably imagine. So I went downstairs and was away to make her breakfast when I noticed a letter had been posted through the door. Thinking it was another memorial/ thinking of you card I popped it on the breakfast tray and continued with working on breakfast for her.

I took the tray upstairs and popped it on the bedside table and gently kissed her awake. "Morning, Baby," I whispered and she smiled and cuddled up against me, "I brought you breakfast." She opened her eyes and smiled as she slowly sat up.

"Ooooh, what's this," she said as she picked up the letter. She carefully opened it and her smile changed to a grimace as she read down the note.

Dear Rachel, *placed a gold star here*

Maybe you should watch the news,

I still love you,

Jesse

"What the hell," she muttered before getting up to turn on her little television in her room. I picked up the note and read it properly. I was going to get that little punk. How dare he?

I was broken out of my thoughts by a gasp from the other side of the room.

The headline on the screen, "Man responsible for two parent's death found drowned."

The image was of Rachel's fathers on the screen and then it turned to an image of Jesse. "This man, Jessie St. James, local singing sensation from the choir Vocal Adrenaline, was found in the pond this morning having drowned. To start with investigators were unsure of the reason until they found a note at the side of the bank which stated that he had been responsible for the recent demise of Leroy Berry and Hiram Berry, which left a member of Jesse's rival singing choir orphaned, Miss Rachel Berry," At this point Rachel turned the TV off and ran out of the room.

What an absolute idiot Jesse was! He supposedly loved Rachel so how the hell could he do that to her? I left the bedroom and ran to try and find her. That was when I heard the loud BANG from along the corridor.

"Rachel," I started quite quietly. Until I heard more BANGS. I ran into the room. She was in her Dads room and she was throwing everything she could get her hands on. I figured it was best to leave her to it so that she could get some stress out and then I would be there when she needed me to once she had calmed down.

This went on for almost an hour before she ran over to me and jumped at me. Of course I caught her and she wrapped her legs around my waist and started kissing me. "Baby, as much as I love what you are doing, now is maybe not the best time," I said trying to be the best boyfriend I could be.

"Finn!" she scolded, "I just found out that Jesse St. Jerkbag killed my parents. I think I can do whatever I want." She was angry and she would regret this so I carried her through to her bedroom and laid her down on the bed and kissed her back before pulling away.

"Baby, please think about what you are doing," he said before sitting down next to her.

Rachel looked at me and then burst into tears. Had I done this or was this still anger from before? "You… You… you don't want me!" she cried out before clinging to her pillow. This was the last thing I wanted.

I turned her round so that she was facing me instead of being in the foetal position that she was in. "Baby, you are beautiful and stunning and of course I want you. You have no idea how much I want you, but this isn't the right time. You are grieving and upset and angry and I don't know about you but I want everything to be perfect. We have come so far and you mean everything to me. When we are older I want you to think about how perfect our first time was and also how special it was for both of us, not that it was something related to your Dads deaths," I said to her trying to convey as much emotion as was possible.

I think she got the message as she sat up and cuddled into my lap bringing my face down to hers and kissing me on the lips. It wasn't desperate like before but sweet and calm and perfection.

I was the luckiest guy in the world.

_Flash Forwards a Year_

Rachel and I were stood at the site of her fathers graves. She smiled up at me and I took her hand. "I'm so proud of you," I said down to her kissing her cheek. I put my free hand in my pocket.

"Rachel, I wanted to do this perfectly for you. I know it's not the same but I came here a few days ago to speak to you dads, that's not weird is it?" I asked her looking into her hazelnut brown eyes, "Anyway, Rachel, I wanted this to be something you would remember for the rest of your life because it involved everyone that you loved." I bent down on one knee, "I am so proud of you. From the very beginning I knew you were it, the one for me. I came the other day to ask your dads for hand in marriage. I know I didn't get an answer but I figured this was the closest that I could get. Please baby, say you'll be Mrs Hudson? Will you marry me?"

I had finally said it. I had been planning this for months. I looked at Rachel from my position on the ground. "Yes," she squealed as she jumped on my, sending me flying to the ground. "Sorry Daddy's," she said giggling as I slipped the ring on her finger. It was gold with a little Gold star on it. "You'll always be my gold star Rach," I said as she kissed me.

"I have one thing I would like to do, if you don't mind," she said to me smiling.

The next thing I knew we were at my parent's house and heading inside to tell them the news.

"Mom, Dad, we have something to tell you," I said when we were sat down.

"What is it honey?" my mom asked. I smiled at Rachel who threw her hand into the air to show her the ring I had bought her. "OH MY GOD!" mom shouted.

Rounds of congratulations were said before Rachel spoke, "I have a question though. You guys know I don't have anyone to walk me down the aisle and I was wondering if you would do me the honours Burt? You have been like a dad to me the last year to me."

Burt's eyes started to swell up. "Of course, Rachel. I'd be honoured to!" Everyone smiled and we all hugged each other. This was going to be the start of a happy family.

"Thought about any details?" my mom asked and Rachel nodded her head.

"Finn, decided that he thinks we should get married at the church beside where my Dads were buried so that they can be present too," Rachel said as I blushed.

"Then we really will be a complete family. Rachel, honey, your dads would be so proud of you," my mom said as I hugged the future Mrs. Hudson tightly.

My perfect family.

_The End_


End file.
